it is wednesday right? I don't leave the house much
+ a plethora of new black sweaters
+ frustration-relieving hair trimming
+ puppy dreams (lying on her side, legs frantically running)
+ g's first vet visit today (the dewormer stuff is bright yellow and smells like caramel. geral-dinomite
+ grace jones is this winter's kate bush
+ thinking about painting the apartment
+ espresso machine at home (maple latte? steamed egg nog, extra foam? ilu)
+ when moms buy groceries
+ snow!
+ TAing phil. of medicine for a feminist philosopher
+ wearing this sweet knitted poncho around the house while i study (photo is of/by anja who runs an awesome vintage etsy store)
+ unflattering collage from reilly's zine (nsfw!)
+ simone de beauvoir
+ thoughts of going to this faux-scandinavian hot springs/steam bath place with my mom after everything is done. massage me up.
+ 30 rock breaks
+ post-phenomenology suits me way better than phenomenology
+ geordie and I just combined dinners to make the following epic dinner: bacon flavoured perogies pan fried with steak strips, onion, and mushroom, topped with homemade cheese sauce. with two kinds of cheeses. hello carbs, i loveyou.
+ also, cooking: i made my second guacamole ever, it was tasty. & yesterday I made some of that "all the food in my fridge is kinda off" soup which i really liked. food! yay!
+ i taught geraldine to climb stairs yesterday
+ have been seeing so much of nick's family, especially kristie. his mom was here this week for a sleepover & we made a lot of curry together. & then we all did homework and she read some of my copy of gender trouble. aww! yay!
+ there are only two assignments to go.
+ i dyed my hair this week and it looks pretty.
+ ipod touch! getting my music back! finding a camera cord! huzzah.
Happy Thanksgiving to one and all and gratitude to my peeps.
On this day of plenty, please take pause to remember the many who do without - without jobs, without homes, with little clothing and one pair of shoes, without food on their tables.
Be mindful too of the millions of turkeys whose lives were taken for your feast. Bless the birds and all living creatures this day.
+ today we went out in the nature with four dogs and eight people (six philosophers!) It felt good. Geraldine did not really want to play with the big dogs, at the moment, but she did have a lot of fun jumping over fallen trees in the woods (some assistance required) and rolling on her back in the long grass. I wore a dress because I am so behind on laundry and my tights are covered in burrs. Walking through the woods in just a sweater in November is maybe worrisome but also enjoyable.
+ also took the dog on a walk downtown to get coffee. this is basically what having a dog is for. strangers are so compelled to touch geraldine and they all talk about her fluffy puppy fur. she is in a "jump up and nibble your ear" stage, which scandalizes people in the street a bit.
+ i have discovered that browsing for books to order from the waterloo library gives me the same feeling as shopping for shoes on the internet. this MA thing might work out after all.
+ spent the day at OOTS yesterday where these very dapper dudes ran a knitting group. They were doing some really advanced fucking knitting. Today I was walking by a cafe on the way home & they were sitting in there, knitting. I hope in the summer I can drop in for knitting group & pick up some pointers.
+ also read this cool pamphlet at OOTS about trans men & sex which I found informative and also really happy-making. I always get this way when I am reading something that speaks TO the group in question, not ABOUT them, you know? I am uncomfortable about the "them" in that last sentence, but I just want to highlight the really important experience of reading something where "we" means something other than "white privileged academics" or "middle class suburban white straight canadians" or whatever.
+ mom & reilly came over yesterday and we hung out with the puppy & had fancy lunch and also went grocery shopping. thanks mom for driving and paying. i feel so relieved that the fridge is that full.
+ have been hanging out with sarah and richard and i really enjoy it. i like that they do so much fun stuff at home. i kind of forget that there are fun things at home other than the internet. i am really glad to be guelph friends with them. walking dogs with sarah mangle is a new favourite activity. playing games with sarah and richard is also a favourite activity. they are good listeners and i really like that. i need to work on being a good listener too.
okay enough blogging, I have to do some kant now.
-this dog is by no means house trained but n. likes to spend time teaching her ridiculous things like "give kisses" and "moonwalk" (not a lot of progress being made on that last one)
-being the middle spoon between a dog and a dude is pretty good too
-dog doesn't really know how to lie down without dropping her body on the floor like a dead weight and it is funny
-n is a really good dog training buddy. when i am in the yard crying because the dog just ripped open the bag i collected her poop into, n. is all "it's so nice to see you, geraldine!" and sends me off to read books
-spent yesterday afternoon on the porch in a t-shirt with husserl and the puppy
-spent all weekend with husserl actually. i don't know if h. is getting better at describing the epoche or if i am getting smarter from reading about the same thing in three different books but it is minimally more engaging
-if not for 30 rock breaks and coffee i am not sure i would be alive right now
-no second job has meant lots of extra reading time that i am so happy to have
-cooking lots of curries and drinking special curry beer with ferrio.
-dog school car pool?
+ visited puppies especially one special puppy
+ puppies sleeping on yr shoulder
+ long drives are perfect for talking
+ really wonderful talks about school around molly's kitchen table
+ walking into the only and feeling so happy about it
+ spontaneous running-into-friends immediately!
+ making new friends with nick's very oldest friend
+ feminist chats with beer
+ night kitchen! love.
+ spill sleepovers & my first shower in two months
+ van veen's delicious breakfast
+ meaghs in a dress! karen! caren! des! gretchen!
+ whispering sweet nothings into a baby's ear
+ yarn shopping
+ best coffee, dreams of beans, shane is the world's best hugger
+ busting jes looking at photo of burly firefighter holding a baby @ natas
+ bought much-needed new pair of pants
+ visited with jesses at HYS, best customer stories ever
+ sushi!
+ drinking champagne & getting ready at jes's & telling period horror stories & painting my nails with holly
+ gillian immediately recognizing me as edie at the moho
+ so many friends in one room!
+ denim & leather = so many sexy manthighs
+ the burning hell are awesome
+ dancing with my friends is awesome, too
+ city lights A+
+ afterparty with bffs A++: airplane, ass contest, huge cuddle, chocolate blood, denim onesie, walking in on a game of spin the bottle to find the bottle pointed at me, teasing my emo guitar-playing friends, so much cuddling, men with beards attempted makeouts
+ spooning with jes
+ second shower in two months, this time with shampoo
+ running into nick at the only after totally losing him the night before
+ finding out that i had spent my extra hour partying in order to resolve the tipsy "that clock says five am but my cell phone only says four am" quandry i had been having
+ sharon caldwell!
+ impromptu arthur story meeting
+ checking out shawn's enormous new truck
+ visits with dan and katie, for now still my favourite dog ever
+ free pumpkiny drinks, running into all my best friends all over again
+ tiny visit to jungle cat world
+ nick, improbably, is able to fit football and wings into his sunday afternoon drive home
+ grocery buying with a car
+ cozy baths
+ reading about puppies
Somehow, I have a cold AGAIN! Hmm.
enough whining about how grad school's drudgery is not fulfilling my OMGMULTIFACETED NEEDS. If I am not: seeing friends, watching bands, eating tasty food, playing with the cat, and dancing a lot, I am failing myself. That is not grad school's fault, that is my fault.
ROCK OUT DUDER.
I have been looking at this website today & it is interesting to me. I get so wary of things that I think perpetuate fatphobic attitudes but I think this stays just on the right side of my fucked-up-politics-ometer. I suspect it is run by some big company but have not succeeded in finding out who.
I like what it says though about having compassion for yourself. I am really wary of this concept too in that "omgwhiteladies are so the most important!" kind of way. But I think that these skills, of being happy about your bod, are vital because they mean that we can relate to other people without projecting our shit onto them. So. I am thinking about doing that.
In that same vein, I am going to remember to high five myself about what I get done rather than stress out about what I am not done yet.
Today:
-rescheduled doctor appointment, paid bills, got rent paid, interviewed dude about indoor gardening, did some reading, did the dishes, had a really great bath, helped a student, got some groceries, helped N. edit his paper, put some birthday stuff in the mail, ordered tickets to a show. This does not sound like a ton but trust me, it was.
Other good things:
-nearly have all the stuff to make vietnamese iced coffee
-books coming in the mail. Books for school that I want to read. I am so stoked about that. Also books that are for before bed and not for school at all.
-had friends of friends staying over this weekend; Nick and I walking into our house to find a group of happy people was pretty special
hello.
things that return happy and calm and productive to my hyperventilating body, regardless of MA seminar happenings:
-listening to records really loud
-lots of coffee
-nail polishing
-sitting with the cat
-reading novels
-cooking & eating
-makin' out
-new shoes
-watching music
-helping people out
-yoga
-movies!
-talking to julia and/or other nice people
-beer!
-going dancing
-talking to my mom & dad
-learning about activisty stuff
-thinking about gretchen fawn & her magical powers
-thinking about ptbo for halloween
-fruit!
-thinking about tattoos
-listening to beyonce
-remembering about how i am a really lucky person
-making crafts
-remembering that i tried really hard to get myself into this mess in the first place
+ okay, starting to forget that things other than school even exist. which is good because you don't have to think about how you miss doing them.
+ so much cooking today. in the "race against perishables" i used my scheduled study breaks to chop vegetables. put all sorts of things that were looking a little bit less than fresh into some soup:
--one butternut squash & onion & ginger, some celery, some spinach, an apple, some garlic.
+ also i made guacamole from scratch today for the first time ever. i used to hate avocado with a passion & now i consistently crave it. it was pretty lime-y but good.
+ i wish I got to do more CSWIP things but everything i went to was pretty bad-ass. and everyone was nice to each other! i have never witnessed a more supportive question period. i realized that the courses i am taking are so "back to basics" in that "here is the cannon of philosophy! learn everything!" kind of way. but that i really do love feminist philosophy with my whole heart. i wish there was a course in that! oh well.
+ talks should always happen in art galleries. nothing like having an hour or so to stare at paintings.
+ feminist philosophers all have really great asymmetrical haircuts (and great shoes!) also they are very cool people.
+ hanging out with lauren & comparing siamese cats. hers is nicer but mine is not crazy.
+ knowing that although october is OFFICIALLY FUCKING CRAZY, december is coming. & also i can feel myself getting smarter. hopefully it is smart enough.
+ i now work for my second student newspaper. who knows when i will sleep? anyway i think they feel like i am a really talented journalist (ha!) but i guess i have to prove it. i think i get to root out bad journalism everywhere tho, and for that i am thankful.
+ buying groceries is great as is not going into new debt for the ma. sleep though is elusive. so elusive.
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